Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
