I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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