She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
then he tried to convert me to islam
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book