My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage