Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.