You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
