So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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