hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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