My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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