sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind