Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.