real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.