Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i came on her dog
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.