if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B