gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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