you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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