Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.