More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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