youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk is a universal language darling
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
