.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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