I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
