Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
