I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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