I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
