The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
