Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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