I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
