the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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