Need sex. Gaining weight.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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