You're completely useless in the revolution.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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