there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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