i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake