I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks