Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf