id be glad to
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
