Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.