I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish my penis had an off switch
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"