I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
