so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
