Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do herpes really smell.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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