I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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