so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
