you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.