After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.