dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka