Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?