ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
