dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize