I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
