My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I will pee on everything he values.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
