I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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