why didn't you poke me back
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you never un-have a 4some
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize