A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
