just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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