I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
