I will die if light touches me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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