Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
