no, he came in my armpit
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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