Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
