I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm at about main and main street
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize