These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
