She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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