omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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