I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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