This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
