Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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