It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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