During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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