The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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