Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
