New invention idea: vibrating tampons
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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