I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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